I’m a perfectionist…
Sometimes that works in my favor and I excel at the task before me.
Sometimes it hinders me to the point of halting all progress.
You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while…I got behind and my perfectionist/OCD brain wouldn’t let me sit down to write until I could “catch up” (as in, catch up on all the days I’ve missed) I had a plan for this blog to write one post a day and when I skipped a day, my anxiety kicked in, my brain panicked, and my ability to write was gone. This is a bad thing for someone who normally has no problem getting thoughts “on paper” and is ocd about completing the job.
This concept of “being behind” has always been a difficult one for me. If I don’t think I can finish something, I often won’t try or I will start and get behind and give up. I have so many unfinished craft/sewing/home improvement projects from the last 30 years…it’s really quite dizzying. Every one of those unfinished tasks weighs on me and feeds negative thoughts to my brain…lies about how unsuccessful I am or how unreliable I am or how foolish I was to think I could do that.
Covid-19 has forced me to change the way I think about things. There are many tasks I can’t complete now. Many resources and businesses are closed, hindering my progress on a variety of levels. But this very situation has forced me to shift my thinking to what I CAN do right now…and guess what? I CAN post to my blog. I CAN write long overdue letters. I CAN put pictures in scrapbooks or make photo books. I CAN make new habits like a daily prayer journal. I CAN go Live on social media to stay in touch with friends and family. I CAN cook something new from Pinterest. I CAN purge that closet that’s been nagging at me. I CAN spend time encouraging and enjoying my hubby.
My day may not look like it did a month ago, but in some ways that’s not such a bad thing. I CAN do simple things with much thought and love. And I CAN make a difference just by sharing me…right here…where I’m at today.
What about you? What have you decided you CAN do today?