Do you struggle with self care? Can’t find the time? Feel guilty if you do take the time?
You and I are 100% alike in that regard!
I’ve tried scheduling my self care activities into my day planner, I’ve tried making self care be the first thing I do every day. I’ve tried setting timers and alarms to remind myself to do self care. I’ve tried so many suggestions to get it done, that I can’t even remember them all.
But I don’t think it’s a scheduling problem, or a not enough time problem, or an “I forgot” problem. For me the problem is 2 fold: 1) I do not feel like I am important enough to stop doing for others in order to do something for myself, and 2) I struggle with telling others I can’t do something because I’m doing something for me. The 2 reasons are really very entwined.
I struggle deeply with unfounded guilt and effectively setting boundaries. People do not always take advantage of this weakness (sometimes they do) but I often project my assumptions onto them and thus feel that they are manipulating, guilting, or shaming me into doing what they want. And I get angry at myself for not standing up for myself and stating what I am going to do…for not drawing a line in the sand and saying “I’m worth taking care of…here’s what I need.”
I cannot tell you how many times I have planned to go ride my horse (which is healthy in so many ways for me…physically, mentally, spiritually) only to have other things come up and I whisper “tomorrow” while knowing in my heart, the very same thing is going to happen tomorrow. So now I have shifted from feeling guilt from others to feeling guilt from myself about myself. SIGH…
So today, I am riding my horse! I am going to go this afternoon right after a meeting I have (which is not far from the barn) and I am going to take video &/or pics to post here when I get home. Today is the day I am going to stand firm in what I need to be healthy and whole and able to function at my best. Today is the day I will be accountable to myself. Today is the day I am going to thank God for this gift and actually use it…